


Ur Perfect, I Hate It

by AnxieteaAttack



Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxieteaAttack/pseuds/AnxieteaAttack
Summary: Devi attends a graduation party she’d really rather stay away from and ends up getting a pleasant surprise.
Relationships: Ben Gross & Devi Vishwakumar, Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Comments: 12
Kudos: 119





	Ur Perfect, I Hate It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bextons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bextons/gifts), [crisspyfangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisspyfangirl/gifts).



> Oh, look- I finished something! Just a short one-shot that was inspired by the song ‘Ur Perfect, I Hate It’ by Mickey Valen. I highly recommend listening to it because it gave me major Benvi vibes. 
> 
> I’m gifting this fic to the two people I love to fawn over this couple with, who also happen to write some of my favorites fics of our beloved Benvi. Y’all really motivated me to get into gear, thank you!!

She wished she hadn’t let Eleanor and Fabiola talk her into going to their graduation party. Actually, if she were wishing for anything, she wished her mother was at home, rather than at a dermatology convention, offering her the perfect excuse not to attend, but she was- and had entrusted Kamala to keep a close eye on her- which was why Devi was currently huddled in a small group of her newly former classmates trying to blend in, eyes darting nervously, hoping upon hope not to run into the one person she simultaneously did and did _not_ want to see. Why did every party they had attended since sophomore year _have_ to be at Ben’s house? She rolled her eyes. She figured she had another hour of obligatory mingling and saying goodbyes before it was acceptable for her to make her exit.

“I’m going to go find Eve”, Fabiola shouted into her ear, making sure she was heard above the louder-than-necessary music.

Devi nodded, absentmindedly, as she watched Eleanor and Oliver flailing dramatically on what was unofficially designated as the dance floor. She chuckled to herself. Always with the theatrics, those two. As soon as Fabiola walked away, she realized she was now standing alone and not as inconspicuous as she had hoped to remain for the duration of the evening, so she decided to find an empty room to duck into and wait it out until she could leave.

She poked her head inside a few doors, finding each room occupied by her peers and their raging hormones, before she ended up standing in front of the Gross family’s home theater.

“Bingo”, she whispered to herself as she walked through the doorway before realizing it wasn’t as vacant as she had hoped. Shit. _Of course_ Ben would be in here, hiding from his own party. She tried to back out slowly, hoping he wouldn’t notice, and oh-so-gracefully bumped into the doorframe, signaling her presence. She groaned as Ben’s head snapped around to see who had entered the room. 

“Oh. Hey, David.” He greeted her, half-heartedly, before turning back around to focus on the dark screen in front of him. 

The corners of her mouth turned up into a small, wistful smile at the once-fond nickname that it seemed like forever since she had heard. See, the thing was, they weren’t enemies anymore, but they weren’t exactly friends, either. While it seemed as if that was the direction they were moving towards during sophomore year, after they kissed in Malibu Devi completely freaked at the realization that she had actual, genuine feelings for her former nemesis. With everything else going on in her life she didn’t know how to process this, so she did what she does best- ignored it. Ben had tried to talk to her about it and she had offered an apology- telling him that she was confused and overly emotional and that it was a mistake, but the truth was that it was probably the thing she had done with the most clarity that entire year and as much of a mess as she was, she didn’t want to drag Ben down with her. And she knew that he would go willingly because, as she had learned, he was the most loyal and selfless person she knew.

It was after that that they started to grow further apart, even their rivalry lost steam until eventually they were just two people that went to the same school and occasionally had a class together. She had spent the last two years regretting her decision and convincing herself that she didn’t- she _couldn’t_ \- have feelings for him and now, watching him sitting silent and alone at their graduation party, studying the back of his head, the way his hair lightly brushed the nape of his neck, his broad shoulders slumped, all those feelings came rushing back. If she was being honest with herself, they never left- not for a second- but she figured she had spent two years pretending they had, so she could get through one more cordial conversation with him without giving herself away. 

“What’s poppin’, Gross? Not even cool enough to get invited to your own party, huh?”, she quipped. 

He chuckled softly, looking down with a wry smile. God, she missed his laugh. It had been so long since she had heard it. Since she had even seen him crack a smile.

“On the contrary, David. I’m _too_ cool for it.” 

He was playing along. It almost felt like old times and this made her relax a bit. She walked further into the room and gestured toward a seat. “Do... you mind?”, she asked tentatively. 

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a half smile. “Not at all, be my guest.”

She found herself letting out the breath that she didn’t know she was holding as she walked around, lowering herself into the chair next to him. As she sat, she accidentally grazed his elbow with hers and she could have sworn she saw his breath catch, but she must’ve been imagining it, because his face remained completely neutral.

They sat in silence for what seemed like a painfully long time to Devi before she broke the silence. “So...graduation. Must feel nice to finally be finished with high school so you can finally step out from under the shadow of my academic superiority, huh?”. This particular jab earned her a full blown laugh and it was like music to her ears. 

“Funny, I was just going to say the same to you.” He retorted. “Remind me again, _who_ was our class valedictorian?” He asked, rubbing his chin with mock curiosity.

Devi rolled her eyes. “On a stupid technicality that shouldn’t have even counted because it was a dumb extra curricular credit!”

“Excuses, excuses.” He turned to her and flashed her a smile. The big, genuine “Ben” smile that she loved. The smile that made her stomach do cartwheels. 

“Whatever, dude.” She smiled back and elbowed him playfully.

“So, Princeton...”, he began. “You think you’re ready for the big leagues?”

She scoffed. “Of course I am. Although, I’m really going to miss...home.” She caught herself before she said ‘ _You_. I’m really going to miss you.’ What good would it do to tell him that now? 

“Besides- how did you even know where I was going?”, she asked, quizzically. 

“Your friends aren’t exactly subtle, David. I think they told the whole school the day you got your acceptance letter.” He laughed. “Congratulations, by the way. I wanted to tell you when I heard, but..” he trailed off. She turned her head to respond and was met with Ben’s bright, crystal blue eyes. She shifted self-consciously under his piercing gaze.

“Thanks, dude.” She replied. “That means... a lot.” He was still staring at her, studying her face. She flushed slightly and looked down at her hands, folding and unfolding them in her lap. 

She wanted to tell him how much she missed him, how she thought about him every day, how she regretted the way she handled things after they kissed, how she was scared that once she moved to Princeton that would be it and they truly would become strangers to each other. Just a supporting character in each other’s past that eventually faded until they were completely forgotten. But she couldn’t. Or could she? Graduation seemed like the perfect time to close old chapters before opening new ones. Wouldn’t that justify telling him everything she’s wanted to say for the past two years? Maybe then she’d finally be able to let all those feelings go. 

“Ben, I-“ she started, turning to face him.

As she did, his lips caught hers and cut her off. Her eyes widened in shock before she melted into the familiar warmth of his soft lips. She closed her eyes, leaning deeper into the kiss. Memories of Malibu, of their first kiss, came flooding back. Kissing Ben was exactly as earth-shattering as she remembered it to be. Her heart simultaneously sped up and slowed as she relaxed into it. How did he still have this effect on her? It was as if the time that had passed between kisses hadn’t passed at all. It was so familiar. So natural. So _right_. After what seemed like hours, but also mere seconds, he pulled back and sheepishly looked away. 

“I’m sorry, Devi, I-“

She interrupted. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you to do that.” She said. “God, that sounded desperate. What I meant was... Ben, I made a mistake pushing you away. When I told you we shouldn’t have kissed in Malibu... that was possibly the dumbest thing I have ever said in my entire life. I was in a confusing place and I didn’t want you to have to live in that place with me. I thought that if I gave you up- if I let you go- you could move on with your life and not get dragged down by all my stupid shit. I didn’t want you to realize _you_ made a mistake by kissing _me_. I didn’t exactly deserve someone as amazing as you and I wasn’t ready to lose _another_ person I cared so much about...” she was rambling, gesturing broadly as she explained.

He caught one of her hands with his own and laced his fingers with hers. She looked down, wide-eyed, at their hands. At how perfectly they fit together. She looked back up at him, her own dark eyes- full of unspoken questions- locked with his brilliant blue. All of a sudden Ben seemed so...bold. Self-assured, but not in the cocky way she was used to back in their competitive days. 

“Don’t deserve _me_?” He looked genuinely confused. “Devi, all I’ve wanted since that day in Malibu- hell, longer, if I’m being completely honest- is to prove how deserving I could be of _you_.” His eyes searched hers for a reaction, but she was completely dumbfounded and frozen in shock. He continued, “You’re not perfect, no one is, but you’re perfect to _me_. Devi, I know you were a mess. I know _why_ you were a mess. You had every excuse to be. But if you’ll recall, I was kind of a mess too and the only thing that felt right back then was us... or whatever we were becoming at the time. I’ve been waiting for you to see that. To see _me_. I’ve been waiting for _you_.” He fell silent and watched her, nervously. He grew more nervous with each second Devi didn’t respond. 

For a split second, he thought he had monumentally fucked up with his dramatic confession, but then Devi’s lips were on his again and his brain completely lost function. This kiss was unlike their previous two. Devi kissed with the same intensity and passion that she puts into everything else in life and it made Ben’s heart feel like it quite literally could burst. He snaked his arms around Devi, fisting her hair in one hand and her shirt in the other, holding onto her as if they were free-falling through the atmosphere and she was the only thing keeping him from spiraling into nothingness. Ben tentatively touched his tongue to her lips, asking permission, and she eagerly obliged, deepening the kiss. Touching her was electric, almost like a constant static charge on his fingertips, and made his heart beat so wildly in his chest he thought, momentarily, that he might not be able to survive it. He felt Devi’s heart beating in an erratic rhythm that matched his own as she, too, clung to him as if for dear life. Then just like that, to Ben’s dismay, the kiss was over. Devi pulled away and looked down...ashamed? Regretfully? Did she see this as another mistake? Ben felt panic set in as he imagined that she might disappear from in front of him and this had all been some kind of fantastical dream. Or worse, she might confirm his deepest fear. 

“Devi...I- please, say something. Did I do something wrong?” His voice was so small, it broke her heart. 

“I just... I wish we had figured this out earlier... I mean, before...before we were going off to separate colleges and realistically might never see each other again?” She replied, sadly. 

How could either of them expect the other to enter into a long distance relationship as they’re trying to navigate the waters of a brand new life? Ben deserved a girlfriend that could touch him. Hold him. Kiss him. And _god_ she could spend the rest of her life doing nothing more than kissing him and be _blissfully_ satisfied. He didn’t deserve the ghost of a girlfriend keeping him from experiencing his life. 

“Oh. About that, David...” he gave Devi a mischievous grin, momentarily confusing her as the entire mood seemed to shift with his expression, as he produced a piece of paper from his lap- it must’ve been there the whole time, why was she just noticing?- and handed it to Devi. Her eyes widened as she read.

“Ben, Princeton?! What?! How?! It wasn’t even in your top three! Why would you?-“ she sputtered.

“Oh, you didn’t think this little academic rivalry of ours was over just yet, did you, David?” He said to her with a wink. “How do we _really_ decide who is superior unless we attend the same school and have the benefit of the same education?” 

This time it was Devi who felt as if her heart would burst. She was going to have a second chance with the boy she thought she had lost two years ago. The boy she was desperately in love with. Devi threw herself into Ben’s arms and kissed him with everything she was. 

“You were wrong you know.” She pulled back to tell him. 

He looked at her, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“When you said ‘nobody’s perfect’. You were wrong. _You’re_ perfect.” She planted a feather-light kiss on his lips and rolled her eyes. “I hate it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please be gentle with criticism because I haven’t written anything besides my previous fic (which I promise to finish!) in a super long time!


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